Rookie Mistake

17 Dec

Green Mountains

From the scolds at Green Mountains Review:

Dear Contributor:

Thank you for your interest in Green Mountains Review. However, we cannot consider your manuscript at this time because it arrived after the March 1st deadline. Please note that our reading period is from September 1 – March 1. We appreciate your interest and look forward to reading your submission during that time period.

Sincerely,

The Editors

But since I am an idiot, I have a few questions–chief among them, the mildly terrifying logo to the left of the letterhead, an image of what appears to be a lumbering, malproportioned man carrying some sort of sack across a nightmarish Edvard Munch landscape: what is that?

This is clearly a form rejection–which means Green Mountains Review receives enough stories outside the designated reading period that the editors drafted a boilerplate letter for the express purpose of reminding space cadets like myself of proper submission procedure.

I do wonder what happened to my story when it entered the mail room of Johnson State College’s English Department, and crossed the desk of an editor. Did it reach an editor? Was everyone on vacation? There must have been someone there–an intern, maybe; a wide-eyed undergrad, probably–to slice open the envelope, stuff my S.A.S.E. with this rejection, and send my story to the shredder.

I would never just discard a story like that. What am I, a philistine? Send me a story and I’ll read it. Send me 10,000 stories, and I will read them all. I may be intellectually curious, but, as noted above, I am also an idiot, one who can’t even follow simple directions, and whose career thus far is somewhat analogous to this premature touchdown spike by the inimitable DeSean Jackson:


*Note awesome end zone dance at 0:28. That’s me, after mailing my story to Green Mountains Review.

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One Response to “Rookie Mistake”

  1. Michel Sauret December 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

    Haha the video sells the blog post. I can actually say (I think) I’ve never submitted anything outside a journal’s reading period, but I’ve thought about it thinking, “Well maybe they’ll be pleasantly surprised to receive a wonderful story while not expecting it!”

    Glad I didn’t…

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